love Notes from Home

Dear Ellie,

Tonight you woke up with a start just after 10:00 pm. I'm not sure if you had a bad dream or if your stuffy nose and cough from your cold startled you. I went into your room, lifted you up from your crib, and sat down in the rocking chair. At first I tried to hold you close to me with your head resting on my shoulder but you wanted something different. You wiggled and squirmed until you had turned yourself around and were facing out. I gently tucked your arm behind my back, wiped the tears from your eyes, put my hand on the side of your cheek, and then you immediately put your head on my chest. You lifted your other hand and rested your fingers on my arm. I wasn't ready to lay you back down after you settled and were calm. Instead I held you, your head resting against my chest, feeling those tiny fingers against my skin, listening to the steady rhythm of your breathing, your body perfectly cradled in my arms. I wished time would slow down and almost stop. I wished I could hold you like that for a long time. My eyes welled up and tears fell down my cheek. I was speechless except for one prayer silently whispered, "Thank you, Lord for my Ellie. "

Love, Mommy